When preparing for service overseas, we encountered a very practical and eye opening class developed for missionaries by missionaries on interpersonal skills.
It was developed by a Dr. Ken Williams who has given over 50 years in ministry to many different facets of missions. Most of these years, Ken served as a counselor to missionaries for Wycliffe Bible Translators. I’m sure this man saw it all during this time; the good, the bad, and the ugly!
Each session began with core beliefs for one of the each 16 specific skills we were getting training on. I emphasize “training” because this was not a lecture.
We were actually be trained on how to think through these issues for ourselves and practically work them out in smaller groups. We role played scenarios and then come back together to share what we’ve learned.
We received from these great tools that have been birthed from many challenges and issues that have arisen in the past with missionaries and teams.
Here are 16 skills that we discussed:
1. How To Kill Your Relationships
2. Loving Listening
3. Drawing People Out
4. Helping Others Solve Problems
5. Confronting Well
6. Receiving Confrontation Well
7. Building Trust
8. Living in Community
9. Managing Conflicts Well
10. Helping Others Manage Conflicts Well
11. Helping Others Grieve Well
12. Managing Stress
13. Maintaining Margin
14. Moral Purity
15. Being an Encourager
16. Integrating It All
Encompassing all of these things was the key scripture Colossians 3:12-14
“Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And, above all these virtues put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity.”
Wow! This scripture in and of itself is packed with depth in regards to relationships. How much more should it pertain to those of us who have been called to “minister reconciliation” between God and man. I’m thinking we should all have this one memorized and think on it often. I don’t know about you, but it checks me in many ways in regards my relationships.
Each of these topics was packed with scripture, insights, and practical things we could do to become stronger in these areas. I believe that these are skills we could all use, missionary or not; except of course the one on how to kill your relationships! This is more about becoming aware of things we do that cause our relationships to dissolve over time.
