This is a diary post from 2008.
Tomorrow will be exactly one month since we returned from our exploratory trip to Thailand. I can honestly say that it has all been sort of a blur since then. For the last five years, I have been on four different overseas trips, all the while holding down a straight commission job in a one income family. Each time I have worked up until the day I left and had to go back to work a day or so right after returning so you think I would have been used to it by now. This time seemed a little harder than the others. Maybe it was the 30+ hours of travel with two children and the resulting jet lag and exhaustion that followed. Or maybe it was having to return to my minimum security corporate prison 😉 after riding the heights of overseas missionary work. Whatever it all was, it kind of took me out. Well, I’m back. Refreshed, somewhat clear headed, and ready for the future…whatever that may be.
You would think after a trip like this, and the heart that I already have for missions, that it would be a no brainer on the decision to GO! Yet, it hasn’t been that simple. This trip was more weighty than any other trip I’ve been on. Maybe because this trip was about the potential of a long term commitment. How many of you know the feeling? It’s kind of like the feeling you get right before you ask your future wife to marry you.
So, the question still remains, “Are you guys going”??? The answer would be “We have seen alot, we have taken alot in, we have open doors, we are processing everything…” My spirit wants to cry out “Yes!”, but I am seeking to walk in wisdom and walking in that wisdom requires, “counting the cost” and understanding timing.
Don’t get me wrong, there is no cost to great when it comes to our Lord Jesus. He paid it all and anything we sacrifice is nothing compared to what He has given us. That being said, we need to be able to look at what’s inside of us before we take this step. The Lord has to show us ourselves. A precious sister told us before leaving that the Lord would “do some exploring in us” on this trip. That he did. Both Jacqueline and I each processed the trip in our own ways, but we both did learn alot about what was on the inside of us; both valiance and trepidation. But I know enough about God to know that when I am afraid and yet God is speaking, I would rather “do it afraid” than disobey. Isn’t that the definition of bravery? Doing it despite the fear. Isn’t the definition of faith, “seeing what is unseen”?
By faith, we, like Joshua and Caleb can take the land becuase the Lord is with us, not because we have a great strategy, mad ministry skills, or even finances behind us. Is he speaking to us about going to this land and planting ourselves there for a season or even longer? If so, this is where my head is: Numbers 14:6-9
Whatever we decide, we can’t do it alone! God has not called a few “specialists” to reach the unreached without the help of the whole Body of Christ. We should all play our part in fulfilling Matt 28:18-20. I think of this quote by the great missionary pioneer William Carey when he contemplated the vast needs of the unreached before him:
“After hearing an account of the spiritual needs of India, the secretary of the meeting remarked: “There is a gold mine in India, but it seems almost as deep as the center of the earth. Who will venture to explore it?” “I will venture to go down,” said Carey, “but remember that you must hold the ropes.”
As you consider your part in God’s mission, would you also DO THIS for us, believing for God’s will to be done?
If you missed out on reading my posts from our trip, I have posted the links below for you. Let me know what you think:
Made It to Thailand
Lady Mo of Khorat
Life in Thailand
Missions and Running
On the Streets
City of Contrasts
First Big Test
Opposition and Breakthrough
A “Wat” on Every Corner
Heading to Bangkok
Jet Lag and Thoughts on the Kingdom
Thailand and Inequality of Wealth